Death to the vuvuzela!


Ban them, burn them, feed their “players” to the lions, stop South Africa from producing these weapons of mass annoyance!

For those lucky few who don’t know what I’m talking about here’s a taste of the horror: Vuvuzela Desensitization or let the Hitler-meme explain it to you.

These plastic contraptions, supposedly part of “South African culture”, but really only produced in a plastics factory since 2001 produce a deafening (literally) droning noise, drowning out all other known forms of sound, including, but not limited to cheering, singing and actual musical instruments such as drums. Or as one youtube member phrased it:

Step 1: United States pays for 5000 South Africans to fly to Pakistan
Step 2: Deploy these people in Pakistan’s mountain cave regions..
Step 3: Distribute vuvuzelas, encourage them to play them 24/7
Step 4: Bin Laden surrenders, War on Terror ends.

90 minutes of a million bees droning inside my skull, I can’t take it anymore! South Africa, be a good host and accommodate your guests 99.9% of which hate the vuvuzela. Please, we want the real football traditions to return: the Brazilian samba drums, the Dutch brass band, the drunken English cheering, the Haka dance of New Zealand (I know that’s rugby but it would be cool if they did it at the world cup), anything that actually changes pitch, volume or rhythm when a goal is made…

Please, for fuck’s sake South Africa and Sepp Blatter, ban those shitty plastic toys, like the South African and show us some real African football culture.

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